Over the past few weeks, i have had the Tax Man, on my back concerning rather a lot of money that i was informed i owed them due to a mistake the Dreaded Tax Avenger made three years ago down the line. So i have had to deal with people with an awful stiff necked approach while wearing their rather lop sided Official heads ,and who do not know their Ar.. from their elbow!
i might act the fool,but upon the question on how i wanted to pay in full the amount due in outstanding Tax Arrears,and the Topsy Turvy way that the Honourable Tax Lording Pears with deaf ears,wanted to take certain money out of my direct debit account each week was share and stupendous nonsence beyond belief. Taken somewhat by surprise,when i offered to pay the full amount due ,which to express a point was no mere chicken feed amount. " What? the Official lady asked on the phone. __
"i`ll pay it all,there is no problem.____ "No you can`t do that the system to take it by instalments has been arranged by due process of direct debit." She said,__"Oh yes,Well you can uninstall it then", i firmly demanded. After being on the phone today for well over an hour and a half,a guy came on the line, and asked me. "Yes sir what is the problem?" i had to start all over again. i gave the phone to Mrs B,to give my head and ears a rest. The lady, and two other civil servants who had left me waiting on line had Bug...ed off somewhere else. i was not amused, and felt i should send them a bill for wasting my time again. Once a week,for three weeks all i`ve gotten were stupid twits on the other end of the phone living in The Twilight Zone.
To cut to a smaller version of what then insued after i lifted the Field Marshals Baton up again,was that i asked him,them and Lord Nibs! "Are you refusing to accept the Queens Currency?__
" Blar,blare!" official nonsense.____ "Are you refusing legal tender of this State?_____ " Blare,blare." Official nonsense!_____ "Do you realise to do so is against the Law? "____ " Blare,blare", of Official nonsense! There has to be a book in this,but then i`d pay even more taxes. In the end i offered to pay in full again,but added any refusal on their part to agree would mean i write a check out and have it delivered and signed for at their end.Normally there would not be a problem at their end,but a big one was planned. Now under law a check can be written on anything going,so i gave them a choice. Money paid in full or i write a check out upon a Pig ,and have it delivered by way of farm labourer, smelly truck and the largest darn Pig i could buy,and that the Tax Office would under law have to accept it,Grunt! Grunt!
He went silent and reluctantly said,"I`ll send you an invoice so you can pay in full."
VICTORY! 
" BB,aint nice when he`s p`ed off!" i run my own affairs straight and true upon the dotted line,and owe nothing outstanding to others. The Tax Avenger,i kinda like the ring of that certain stave.BB
"Buy That darn Pig,BB"_ 
" i`ll see what the Mailman brings tomorrow."
"Well BB,usually shoves paper in the printer and types stuff out then prints it."____ 
"So now your books are balanced again BB?"