Officers Mess

It´s a laugh

Posted by Mário on 30 Sep 2014, 21:58

I got yhis one on the internet, sorry it is in french



Trois joyeux petits cochons Nif-Nif, Naf-Naf et Nuf-Nuf , jouaient, chantaient...
> > La porte s'ouvre brusquement, et un loup inconnu entre...
> > Tous trois restent figés, apeurés..
> > Le loup dit :



"Salâm 'aleïkum !"



Tous reprennent soulagés :


> > Grâce à Dieu , il est musulman !


Have a good night
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Posted by Kekso on 30 Sep 2014, 22:09

Hahaha, my French is poor but I got it :D
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Posted by Beano Boy on 28 Oct 2014, 14:13

(Memo, I think the Dot is a Game! )

The cats ,are always swearing,and fighting here in FiddleWood,and great lumps of fur fly`s off nearly every dark and cold night. Come the cold nights cats have to do,what cats have to do.

When I saw the pictures on line,I thought,Health & Safety for those troublesome Noisy Moggy`s

Image

"I`m off out on my nightly rounds, or from now on,upon my Knightly Rounds."
"Oh!, No! Not again. You`re always fighting with that beastly Tom Cat from No 9."
"Well things are different now,because to stop my fur from flying off in the Next Rumble, I`m wearing this!"

Image

"You have to be kidding?"

" No,they are all the rage come a Saturday night on the tiles!"

Meanwhile at Number 9

Image

"Culp! You look,look so Forcefull! You`re not really going to wear that outside? We could have lots of fun indoors if you promise to wear that"

Image

"Oh,you little Minx! No, I have things to do, And, Yip! I`m off out to meet up with that PUSSY from Number 13."

A Pussy follow up after you liked the one in Egypt sitting in that huge Cat-Litter tray. BB
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Posted by Beano Boy on 22 Apr 2015, 11:52

Image

onejust4fun BB
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Posted by Ochoin on 22 Apr 2015, 13:15

Apologies for this one: sorry but it's in Irish:







Two women were sitting next to each other in a bar.

After a while, one looks at the other and says, 'I can't help but think, from listening to you, that you're from Ireland.'

The other woman responds proudly, 'Yes, I sure am!'

The first one says, 'So am I! And whereabouts in Ireland are ya from?'

The other woman answers, 'I'm from Dublin, I am.'

The first one responds, 'So, am I!! And what street did you live on in Dublin?'

The other woman says, 'A lovely little area. It was in the west end. I lived on Warbury Street in the old central part of town.'

The first one says, 'Faith, and it's a small world. So did I! So did I! And what school did ya go to?'

The other woman answers, 'well now, I went to Holy Heart of Mary, of course…'

The first one gets really excited and says, 'And so did I! Tell me, what year did you graduate?

'The other woman answers,' well, now, let's see. I graduated in 1964.'

The first woman exclaims, 'The Good Lord must be smiling down upon us! I can hardly believe our good luck at winding up in the same pub tonight! Can you believe it? I graduated from Holy Heart of Mary in 1964 me self!'

About this time, Michael walks into the bar, sits down, and orders a beer.

Brian, the bartender, walks over to Michael shaking his head and mutters, 'It's going to be a long night tonight.'

Michael asks, 'Why do you say that, Brian?'

Brian answers, 'The Murphy twins are pissed again'.
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Posted by Kekso on 01 Jul 2015, 10:27

It is hobby related but I wasn't sure where to post it.... now, is that A STASH or what? :-D

Image

Later I found out that it was charity event... Really cool.
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Posted by Emperor on 01 Jul 2015, 11:00

@Beano Boy Easy with the cats Beano Boy LOL, they have strange powers on humans... Namely me...I am crazy over my cat... So be carful that you don't get entchanted by a cuddly huge eye little cat like me...
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Posted by Beano Boy on 01 Jul 2015, 14:56

The Tale Of The Cats Tail

Many years ago the Factory Cat a Big Black Tom who could split a log into kindling with one swipe of his front claws, and with his rapped action of his back legs,like a Buzz- Saw,could skin alive anything that crossed his path. He was so full of territorial fight that he was always scrapping with anything that had four legs.His tail was as I recall , always somewhat bushed out,and talking now of tails,he had the strange habit of walking backwards with his tail up. So we used to call him Old One Eye! BB
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Posted by Peter on 01 Jul 2015, 14:56

Kekso wrote:Later I found out that it was charity event... Really cool.

:sweatdrop: I'm stil sorting everything out! :mrgreen:
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Posted by Ochoin on 26 Jul 2015, 00:39

Three couples, friends, die together in a big car crash. Shortly, they stand before the Pearly Gates. St. Peter looks at them over his glasses. "Will the Jones family step forward." The first couple does.

"Mr. Jones," St. Peter says, "you have spent your entire adult life obsessed with money. Acquiring more money has obsessed your every waking moment and most of your sleeping ones. In fact, you married a woman named 'Penny.' No, you will not be entering."

Blinking, the two step back and go over to the side to await their friends. "Will the Browns step forward." The second couple does so.

"Mr. Brown," St. Peter says, "you have spent your entire adult life obsessed with alcohol. Acquiring more drink has obsessed your every waking moment and most of your sleeping ones. In fact, you married a woman named 'Sherry.' No, you will not be entering."

They step back and join the first couple. Before St. Peter can say anything else, the third man says, "Well, no use of us standing around here. Let's join the others, Fanny."
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Posted by Ochoin on 05 Aug 2015, 11:55

An old man was visiting his doctor for his annual physical. At the end of the examination, the doctor asked him if he had any questions. "It's funny, Doc, but there is something I've been meaning to ask you about. It's nothing serious, but whenever I pass gas, it's completely silent and it has no odor whatsoever."

"That's interesting," the doctor replied, writing a prescription. "Here, have them fill this at the pharmacy down the hall. Take one pill every morning for the next three weeks, and then come and see me again."

Three weeks later, the old man returned to the doctor's office. "It's horrible, Doc," the man said. "Every time I pass gas, it brings tears to my eyes. It smells like a skunk crawled up an elephant's butt and died! What have you done to me?"

"I've restored your sense of smell," the doctor replied. "Next I'm going to see what can do about your hearing."
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Posted by Kekso on 17 Aug 2015, 12:16

http://www.traveltips4life.com/15-reasons-you-should-never-travel-to-the-netherlands/

Hahahaha.... my favorite is "12. It's dark at night" :-D
Well, we all shouldn't go to FIGZ then :mrgreen:
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Posted by Peter on 17 Aug 2015, 12:41

For reason 10 you have to go! And certain to FIGZ! ;-) :thumbup:
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Posted by Mr. Andrea on 17 Aug 2015, 14:09

@Remco, call the editor of the post and make FIGZ number 16
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Posted by Ochoin on 09 Sep 2015, 05:02

Never been but am planning a trip to the Netherlands next year.


donald
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Posted by Paul on 11 Sep 2015, 09:11

Absolute classic 70´s BBC documentary that must have taken it´s stance from watching monty python.

Mick´s mum on about him being a Hells angel "so Long as he behaves himself" and the two Angels dancing arm in arm with not Pants on..the whole Thing is hilarious!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ng8Ll7x08Vk
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Posted by Ochoin on 15 Sep 2015, 21:21

Good find.

donald
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Posted by Beano Boy on 16 Sep 2015, 16:37

In the end everyone has to conform to society. If any of this bunch are still alive, they would now be conforming by way of drawing their state pensions ,and being Bl.....g! Glad of It.
______________Gosh! I felt sorry for that boat. BB
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Posted by Ochoin on 20 Sep 2015, 21:19

Some animal jokes:

What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with a wooden leg?
Stake.

Why did the cow roll down the hill?
It had no legs.
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Posted by Emperor on 30 Sep 2015, 12:30

Here is one funny anecdote...In my Middle school there was a guy who had hand writing ugly as it can be...One day I took his note book, look at it and said ,,My God, your writing is so ugly, even Champollion couldn't read it (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jean-Fran ... hampollion)...They all started laughing at me and said ,, Who is that Shampoo your talking about?''
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